What is a definition for forgiveness?

A definition for forgiveness could be -- giving up my right to hurt you, for hurting me. It is impossible to live on this fallen planet without getting hurt, offended, misunderstood, lied to, and rejected. Learning how to respond properly is one of the basics of the Christian life.

There is confusion about what is involved with forgiveness. Forgiveness is not saying that things are okay now, and then going back into an abusive situation.

It is not letting someone off the hook by saying, “You didn’t do anything wrong.” Some people think that forgiveness is unconditional love with no boundaries or accountability. It is not.

Forgiveness is not denial that a hurtful situation exists, and it isn’t denying the fact that your feelings are hurt. And forgiveness does not mean you accept the person’s behavior.


What does God say about forgiveness?

The Bible gives us much instruction when it comes to forgiveness.
We forgive because we have been forgiven by God (Ephesians 4:32).
We forgive in obedience to God (Matthew 6:14-15; Romans 12:18).
We forgive others to gain control of our lives from hurt emotions (Genesis 4:1-8).
- Cain attacked & killed his brother Abel bcos he was angry & dejected.
We forgive so we won’t become bitter and defile those around us (Hebrews 12:14-15).

What if I don’t feel like forgiving others?

There are times we don’t feel like forgiving those who have wronged us. It is easier to act our way into feeling than to feel our way into acting. Having a nature of not forgiving others brings about bitterness, and bitterness has been linked to stress-related illnesses by some medical researchers.

By forgiving others, we free ourselves spiritually and emotionally. Forgiveness is an act of our own personal will in obedience and submission to God’s will, trusting God to bring emotional healing.


Forgiving Others - A Personal Story

Forgiving others often takes time. Amy was no longer living with her alcoholic and abusive husband Tim, but she had not been able to forgive him for the 32 years of abuse that she had experienced. She knew she should forgive him, but she could not bring herself to do it. She did not feel he deserved her forgiveness.

This went on for several years until one day in a counseling session with Amy, I asked her to listen with her heart and be open to anything the Lord might say to her. During that quiet time, the Lord helped Amy see that He loved Tim, while disapproving of Tim's actions.

The Lord made it clear to Amy that the abuse was not her fault. As she looked up from her quiet posture, she related how all of the reasons why she should not forgive were no longer valid. I asked if she was ready to forgive and she said yes.

Amy's recognition that the Lord truly loved Tim, while disapproving his actions, caused her to have a change of heart. When she made the choice to forgive Tim, the feelings that had been compromising her life-anger, resentment, fear, misunderstanding, and confusion-left her heart. Forgiving Tim brought peace to Amy's heart.


Forgiving Others - The Divine Example

We have a divine example for forgiving others! God knew that man needed forgiveness, so He sent His Son Jesus to deliver all of mankind from the eternal consequences of their sins (1 John 4:9-10).

Colossians 3:13 says, "Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." Jesus not only had the power to forgive, but to grant us the ability to forgive others just as we have been forgiven.


Forgiving Others - Personal Action

Forgiving others often starts as a decision of surrender-an act of our will. This surrender invites God to begin working in our lives in a deeper level, allowing God to heal us. Just as with Amy, we can ask God to enlighten us with the understanding that we need to fully forgive from our hearts. We simply need to make the choice to be open to forgiveness and reconciliation.

Remember, forgiveness does not justify the deed or the person, it does not provide God's forgiveness for their actions, because only God can do that. While nothing can undo the past, we can do something about the condition of our own present and future. Forgiving others makes a way for our own healing to begin.


A prayer of forgiveness

Dear God, I choose as an act of my will, regardless of my feelings, to forgive the person who has wronged me. I release them, and I set myself free to Your healing. God, I ask you to forgive me for hurting others out of my own hurt and to heal my relationships with others. With Your help, I will no longer dwell on the situation or continue to talk about it. I thank You for forgiving me as I have forgiven them. I thank You for releasing me. I ask this in Jesus’ name, amen


Source:

http://www.allaboutgod.com/definition-for-forgiveness-faq.htmhttp://www.allaboutgod.com/forgiving-others.htm


Original source:

www.seekfind.org